By Ryan Strathy, MS, LPC

The holiday season can be especially challenging if you’re in early recovery from alcohol or substance use. Work events, family gatherings, and celebrations often include drinking and you might be wondering how to stay sober without feeling left out, pressured, or overwhelmed.

Why the Holidays Are Hard in Early Recovery

For many, the holidays mean connection, celebration, and time with loved ones. But if you’re newly sober, they can also bring:

Triggers related to alcohol or old routines
Pressure to drink or “fit in”
Fear of being judged for not drinking
Anxiety about socializing sober
Worries about staying committed to sobriety

Recently, many clients have had concerns about navigating the holidays and remaining sober. They expressed,

“I don’t know how I’ll get through all these parties without drinking.”

“I’m scared I won’t have as much fun.”

“I’m worried people won’t think I’m fun.”

“I won’t be able to socialize without drinking.”

“What will I tell people if they notice I’m not drinking?”

These are incredibly common fears and there are ways to navigate them while protecting your recovery.

Challenging Common Thoughts About Drinking

Two common fears in early recovery:

1. “I won’t have as much fun if I’m not drinking.”

Fun comes from connection not alcohol. The more present you are, the more aligned the experience feels with your values.

2. “I won’t know how to talk to people if I’m not drinking.”

This is a normal fear. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you recognize it as a thought, not a truth, and choose behaviors that support confidence, not avoidance.

ACT Therapy and Early Recovery: What You Need to Know

ACT is a powerful approach for alcohol and substance use disorders. It helps you:

1. Accept difficult thoughts and urges

Instead of fighting urges or judging yourself for having them, ACT teaches you to notice them, breathe, and create space. Acceptance does not mean that we have to like an thought or emotion, but that we tolerate them and create space for them. A thought or feeling becomes an observation instead of a command.

Example: “I'm noticing I’m having the thought that I want to have a drink.”

2. Stay connected to the present moment

Try to focus on one event instead of the entire holiday season. Take each event one at a time. If an event feels too overwhelming, break it down into even smaller increments. Being in the present moment allows us to notice the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that are occurring. We can use this to guide your behaviors.

You can connect with the present moment by focusing on your breath and using your five senses.

Ask yourself: “What do I need to stay grounded right now?”

3. Clarify your values

You may feel like drinking adds something to celebrations but sobriety adds even more: presence, connection, and authentic memories.

4. Take committed action

When we know our values and what makes our lives meaningful, it can give us a compass to guide our behaviors.

Questions to ask yourself:

“Is drinking making my life more rich or meaningful?”

“Is drinking bringing me closer or moving me away from my values?”

Practical Tips for Staying Sober During Holiday Events

These actionable strategies can help you feel more confident and prepared.

1. Have a drink in your hand

Most people don’t notice what’s in your cup, they just see that you have one. Mocktails, seltzer with lime, or soda work well and often prevent others from pressuring you to drink.

2. You don’t have to explain your sobriety

If you feel uncomfortable, simple responses work:

“I’m focusing on my health right now.”
“I have an early morning tomorrow.”
“I’m good with what I have, thanks.”

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A concern a lot of clients have is “what if they keep pushing for an answer.” I recommend clients to turn the conversation back to the person. “What’s new with you, how have you been?” Most people’s favorite topic is themselves and they will quickly forget that you are not drinking.

3. Drive yourself & have an exit plan

Being able to leave anytime protects your recovery. If the environment feels triggering, crowded, or overwhelming, you can step away without relying on others for an exit. It may also help prevent barriers such as thoughts of, “I don’t want to be a burden”, “They look like they're having fun, I don't want to ruin their night.”, “I cannot make them leave, they don't get to see their family/friends often.”

4. Stay connected with someone supportive

Check in with:

A friend in recovery
A trusted family member
A sponsor or supportive peer

Accountability and connection can reduce urges and help remind you of what is important.

5. Take it one day, one event, at a time

Again, focus on the present moment. Don’t think about every holiday gathering at once, stay focused on the day.

6. Reward yourself

Celebrate getting through an event sober, it’s a big deal! Do something nice for yourself.

Examples:

Watch your favorite movie or show
Have your favorite treat
Buy yourself something you have been thinking about

Rewards reinforce success and help build momentum.

7. Notice successes, not perfection

If you make it through one night sober, that’s proof to yourself you can do it. Successes can be used as evidence that you can have fun with others without drinking.

If You’re Looking for Alcohol or Substance Use Disorder Therapy in West Chester, PA

Early recovery takes courage and you don’t have to do it alone. I help individuals in early sobriety build coping skills, reduce avoidance, stay grounded during stressful moments, and reconnect with a meaningful life.

If you’re seeking Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or Substance Use Disorder Treatment in person or virtually, I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you get started. Fill out this contact form and we will be in touch!

Staying Sober During the Holidays: How Therapy Can Help and Practical Tips for Staying Sober